now i know why they call it potty mouth.

note: this post will not contain any photos. please don’t ask for them!!!

for those of you who don’t know, i work in the construction industry. there are a few constants between every construction site. to name a few:

  • noise
  • dust
  • rednecks
  • trash

and the ubiquitous port-a-potty.

ever been to a gas station bathroom on a road trip? seen the nasty stuff written on the walls? well, multiply the volume and nastiness of that by 100 and you get a construction site porta-john.

i can’t tell you what it says (for the most part) because i want this to be somewhat family friendly. but there are some highlights.

one of the johns here has written on the walls:

God is good
Man is not
Man made whiskey
God made pot!

that’s about as clean as it gets. you see everything from racist spew (surprisingly most of it is directed against Hispanic workers, even here in the south) to scripture (which people append with all sorts of notes, good and bad) to drawings of naked ladies that look like a blind 2 year old went crazy with a sharpie.

there are also lots of personal attacks written on the walls, mostly directed at foremen and the general contracting firm. for instance, there’s a big arrow on the back wall of one of the johns that points into the abyss. written above it: “*******-****** main office” (*******-****** is the general contractor on the job). most of the personal attacks would make a UFC fighter blush, so I won’t elaborate. i’m sure you can use your imagination.

regarding the personal attacks, it’s somewhat a badge of honor to have your name written on the wall with any manner of disparaging comments following it. i’ve been in this business for 12 years and never had my name written on the wall. until this job, that is.

yes, a while back i saw my own name in the porta-john. there was a snide remark about my ponytail and then some more snide remarks about what guys with ponytails do with their boyfriends. i was shocked and honored.

ladies and gentlemen, adam black has arrived. he is now immortalized on the wall of the happy-can!

here’s some porta-john facts just for fun:

  • the ones here are cleaned on mondays and thursdays. that’s not enough.
  • the truck that comes to clean them out is called the “honey dipper”
  • the honey dipper drivers all smoke. every one. for obvious reasons.
  • the honey dipper drivers actually make pretty good money. wonder if mike rowe has ever visited with one of these companies?
  • you can fit 40 porta johns on a 40′ tractor trailer